I was a cocky teenager. I used to make provocative statements and lived in a world of grand narratives. Sometimes, I dreamt of true harmony because we were brought up utopianists with extreme Gandhian morality as our standard. The problem people like us is that we live in our heads. If the content of our heads is allowed to become a reality, most of the time, it is seen that the other heads roll. I was a pseudo-atheist because it was cool.
Yes, yes. I met with hardships and crippling pain but that pain just made me want to spit on the face of god, if it existed. If god is something external or more correctly another individual then the relationship between God and I must be like that of any worldly relationship. For me, God could not have had the titles of judge, master, creator, guide, punisher, rewarder, conqueror, parent, partner, etcetra. For me, god had to be something more intimate. Anyway, I am not the focus here. You are.
We add titles to our names, Theist, Atheist, Agnostic, etc. Do these make any sense? So let me explain. Have you ever heard a sane human questioning does the air exists or not? Though intangible in most cases, it is felt in many ways. Nowadays, we have metrics to measure it.
Similarly, we need to have definite metrics to measure the intangible. This problem of God being out of reach and God must be approached only by the feeling of servitude the root of many evil like terrorism and better than thou begins from it. The world is separated in two, us versus them. The older literature, the first of the Ved and Tantra approaches nature and entities in a very different way. The problem is the interpretation by us. The later literature taught servitude towards the eternal but the ancient literature approaches with interrogative manner. In ancient literature, anything which exists as a separate individual is explained as a transaction. The all-mighty merciful God is a recent construct.
The Gods were raping, dominating, vengeful, stubborn, hedonistic, promiscuous and cruel. This literature is similar across the Earth. Suddenly these Gods realized we can not rule over humanity with these traits and these disguised gods came into existence. Now the biggest con in this is that ancient literature gives out methods to peek into the domain of these gods, now the people who possessed these abilities were systematically eradicated in Abrahamic societies. The people with healing abilities, people with sight into the other world, and people whose knowledge could challenge the authority of god were punished for their existence. Now, you do not have any access to the domain of the god. You are forced to believe that god is something good and worthy of your worship and every such thought that questions the authority of god is to be eliminated. Doesn’t it look like a proper con scheme?
Now let’s approach this question from a different angle. You acquired your beliefs and affiliations over time. These ideologies give you identity and there is no problem in defending your beliefs. This is part of your personal space and must be respected but just like any personal opinion, if it is exposed publically, it will be no longer protected and it will be subjected to scrutiny. It will be better that you introspect thoroughly before expressing, don’t sell your belief. “Do you believe in our lord and saviour….?”, well do you truly believe? Your beliefs must not take refuge in ambiguity and agnosticism.
There are many types of people. Some use religious doctrine to defend their identities. They do not care for the understanding of the nature of God. Their goals are either to debate, take a morally superior vantage point or find refuge in an establishment. Debate is a form of entertainment, moral superiority is a defence mechanism and refuge-seeking is a way to maintain sanity when exposed to a limitless universe.
There are a few people who are touched by something which could be called divine. Shamans, Oracles, Aveshists, Clairvoyants, and even the typical “gut feeling” people have something with a touch of divine. Now these people are vulnerable as much as they are capable. If tomorrow a spirit comes and tells you I am God, gifts you with things and after earning your trust makes you a tool of their plot. Many great humans were part of such a plot line. These humans tend to become sheep of their sheperds and sheperds in the end rob their sheep of wool, meat and lambs. Why was Abraham asked for his children?
There are very few people who possess godly capabilities. Those who understand the game and choose the path of power. They invest their time and efforts to circumvent the expanse of nature. They travel deep and above to understand the equations. These people could be deemed as walking Gods on the planet. These are rare to be seen and rarer to be taken guidance from.
Finally, there is a type even rarer than the Godly people. When you have seen joy and pain, heaven and hell, holy and heinous. When you have been through multiple cycles of it then comes an onset. Where you look for an escape or something that makes much more sense. In Dharmic religions, Mukti or freedom has multiple layers. Mukti from birth death cycles is a type of Mukti and there is also a type of Mukti where an individual no longer exists. This Mukti also becomes the goal for many. Mukti is sought by many but very few look for the underlying phenomena. Why is the current state of existence different from Mukti? This question unlocks a different layer of seeking. The term “God” could mean multiple things for multiple people but what hat does it mean to you?
So what is your relationship with God? Are you an atheist and use God as a tool for your entertainment? Do you hide in God to be safe in uncertainty? Do you have the “grace” of God on you? Do you want to become a God? or the god was a fad to you and now you look for something more deeper and truly eternal?
You can be anything, believer, or nonbeliever, you can be in a state where the word belief makes no sense. A state where you are truly adamant that god does or does not exist. In all these states just don’t lie to yourself, lie to the world just not to yourself. Do not believe in things, research till you can reach an answer. A point where you no longer have to believe. Life will never stop to intrigue you.